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| Starting Line again for me |
I am turning 38 this year, but I just turned 37 last October 2020, so still, I am technically 37. I resigned from my work last January 31, 2021, amidst this uncertainty this whole pandemic brought to this world. There are several reasons why I did it, but it all boils down to the fact that I was no longer happy with everything that is happening there. And even though I am already considered to be old for the job market, I still think it was good timing - my mom still has a job and I am still single (yeah for the first time, being single was the best status I am ever on).
I have been contemplating doing this. When I entered my previous company, I thought it was the place I was going to retire to. It had everything that I prayed for a workplace to be - good pay, benefits, working conditions, extracurriculars, training, travel, etc. But, in the long run, I realized that I did not provide anything that will boost my psychological health. During my stay, I was plagued by thoughts of being not enough - for my current role, for the company, as a friend to my colleagues, as a potential partner, etc. It was a psychological nightmare, I was always on the defensive side to everything.
So, since I have money in my account and a small business running, I finally did it. After years of really wanting to do this to really deciding to do it.
I am afraid though. What if I made the wrong decision?
This has been my fear, the thing that made me not leave because of this dilemma. I have seen people leave then return again to the company. What if I become one of them? But the longer I stay, the bigger question still lingers, what if I go?
The biggest lesson, I have learned from this pandemic was that life is short. If I continue staying in a place where I do not feel appreciated, I do not feel loved, where every emotion roller coaster peaks come from every side of the job, it is not psychologically healthy. I want to be the best me I can ever be, every day. I really have to go.
Don't get me wrong though, I loved the friends I have made during my stay and some of the colleagues and bosses I have encountered. There was a time that I really loved my job, and there were really good memories, and I am still thankful for my 13 years of employment.
So now, I am creating this blog (creating a new one again but I will be staying here) to jot down everything - decisions, new things, successes, everything.
Why though? I tried looking for inspiration in this phase of my life and it seems that no one wrote about it. I don't want to be someone people to be looked at, I just want people to know that if you are quitting at an age same as mine, it is never too late.
Just like how people say that JK Rowling got her Harry potter success in her thirties, Col. Rogers got successful in his KFC recipe at the age of 60-ish, I want to be one of those people who chased doing what they want even at a later age. We can all do it, we just have to make the first step. This is my step.
Wish me luck. :)
